My F*cking Paid Vacation: … Week 1, Day 1

May 26, 2009

Inspired by the delightful Jo Fuertes-Knight and LikkleP or Peigh as he refers to himself, I have decided to blog how great my days are seeing as I’m off work and I’m getting paid to be off work.

Week 1, Day 1.

The beginning…

Much like the local legend DDT, I’m a lazy man and if I’m not working and I’m alone I will never try to get out of bed till AT LEAST half past three (yes 3.30pm – how I miss uni) today was no exception… Oh yeah before I forget, Gus, fuck yourself, 9.36am… I thought we were family maaaayn 😦

So I get woken up at 9.36am, say some mad incoherent shit and go back to sleep wake up properly at like midday return the call and reply to texts that found their way to my phone…

My to do list for today (not in any particular order)

Check email
Wake up

Rub my back

Eat food

Piss friends off on facebook who are actually working for their money
7pm meeting – with a man about a dog, that barks really loudly when people try to break into your house – 10pts if you guess the dogs name (starts with A)
Clean the bloodclart kitchen

Finishing sanding the room before 2359hrs
Wash my skin

Ok waking up done, washing my skin done, checking email and replying to people done – davinche’s promo team are doing a stellar job at emailing me regarding Rider’s imminent release btw (do you guys fancy returning the favour and posting some links to Lucky Number Sleven Mixtape?? Holla at me you got my email… Dont act like you havent!)

Onto the bit i hate the mostthe dishes After a lot of my prescious time spent its all done and dusted, time for a celebratory drink. Daytime Rum Punch anyone?? Caution this punch contains the following ingredients… Notice the majority of these are alcoholic and only one of them is rum, good times. Juice made, tipple sipped its now time to fulfill the most important list item for the day… EAT FOOD, who knows about having breakfast at 5pm???? who really knows…. uni peoples ha-holla at me. On route to the BK drive thru, with my credit crunch busting golden ticket to the land of greasy see-through sheets and heart disease… everything tastes better when its free, dont you agree? Anyway i go BK hand over my voucher for a free whopper, the lady at the till gives me a meal, and tried to show me how much of a dickhead i was for offering to pay for the fries by struggling to pronounce the phrase”Compliments of” more fool her, until i got home and realised she tried to sabotage my life with bare mayo on my burger (I’m allergic to that shit so boy),

ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT 1: Bare Mayo

what she didnt know was that i am the definition of an 80’s baby and taking lemons and making lemonade wasnt only a survival technique for me, it bought my fucking car.

^^ thats how you eat a whopper with only half a bun fam.^^

Ok met the guy about the dog then quckly went to check G, give him the tracked cd of the Lucky Number Sleven mixtape…

… exchanged a few words looked at my car to see…

ASSASSINATION ATTEMPT 2: ITS A CONSPIRACY

Ok am I being paranoid here or does it look like someone tried to pop a shot at me…?

How do you end a great day off work?

with hot ribena and Fifa online clubs, thats how 🙂
(Youtube ‘The Shooters Sexy Football’ for goals, I wasnt involved in none of them goals i’m new to this shit)

Tomorrow people.

Jurel@NothingButTalent.co.uk

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4 Responses to “My F*cking Paid Vacation: … Week 1, Day 1”

  1. Tracer Says:

    you… are effed my friend.

  2. Jurel Says:

    only a lil bit, we’ll see what tomorrow brings 🙂

  3. Gusto Says:

    Ive turned into my own worst enemy! What do you know about waking up at 4am for no reason? WTF!

  4. Jurel Says:

    karma’s a bitch mate..


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